first time i feel my heart stop..

So Dr Shiffman feels that we need to re test just in case and get other opinions before we go on to the next step of this Lupus mess.. I go to the Dr Jan 27th for more blood more pee testing. Jan 31 st...phone call at 4 pm from Dr Shiffman. "You are still positive for thyroid,kidney, and high protein...(long pause) you also are positive for lupus Mrs Throneburg..are you ok?" My first thought was ok and when do I go to doctor and what's next step. My heart though is stopping but beating outrageously fast I just nod and say ok ok thank u sir..I then hear Aiden in the hallway and tears start rolling down my face. My mind starts racing of I just lost my aunt to this disease I know there was a possibility of this but never imagined it thought it was just eating and anemic. I think I just want to see my baby grow old and see his kids have kids. I just want to always be his mommy to hold and go to. I want to grow old with chris..102& 104 yrs old rt?! I wipe my tears so Aiden doesn't see and I get off the phone with the Dr.. Im in a trance now..I'm so lost and confused but know I can fight this. I'm just disappointed that I have thyroid,kidney, and lupus! Why couldn't I just have a yeast infection Haha I laugh but I'm honest. Not a disease that you cannot treat ever! This is definitely the day my heart stopped...to think no more children frequent doctors visits tons of medicine tons of needles and blood drawn exhaustion scared to even get a cold to think it could harm me in the end. I just need keep m y faith :)