come on, let me stick a needle in you for fun

Dummdummdummmmm...the day has arrived. The kidney biopsy! So I have never ever been in the hospital except for giving birth to Aiden and he was all natural. I don't take meds for anything not even a headache. So this is beyond scary for me. Picture this being laid out on a cat scan bed with three people over you saying don't move one bit, breathe when I say so,hold your breathe when I tell you to,and remember stay still while we poke a large needle in your organ...drum roll please....while you are wide awake!!!! I mean I may seem strong and all but really! Why can't you just give me a gas mask to knock me out..I really wont move then :) but luckily they are dealing with me on a really good day ( go figure, I feel amazing on a day that I'm in the hospital for 8hrs) but I was in a really happy,positive,no achey mood. So I held my breathe said my prayers and put my trust and faith in their hands. I kept praying the same prayer I prayed when I was giving birth.." God doesn't give me obstacles I cannot handle,he never leaves my side,pain never lasts forever,and Genn just breathe and know this soon will pass" I told the nurses ans drs to talk but not about what they are doing. I said talk about food, what they have to do after work,how the weather was..anything but what they were doing. Bc when they described it before taking me in..ugh it was horrible to imagine. In my drs voice who so happened to be so calm and adorable "so Genn I'm going to make some marks on you with a marker then we will take some scans and have you breathe in out and then hold it a cpl of times then I will come in and inject a numbing medicine that unfortunay burns and will probably be the most pain you feel today then I will insert needles until we have the right spot then I will go in with the needle and with a gun take out the tissue. It makes a really loud noise like a nail stapler so don't jump and be aware. You ready bc we are?" I mean can you imagine all that and on your body wide awake?!! I being a weirdo dug my nail into.my hand to make pain somewhere else so I could focus on that and not what they were doing. It helped but that numbing medicine was killer!!!! I didn't feel a thing after I was like so are yall gonna start now with the needles. They said Haha you have a huge needle In your back rt now. I was thrilled bc I couldn't feel anything well...until that darn "gun" the POW of it didn't startle me just the rushing pain from back through my side to my stomach freakin killed me!!!! The dr who took it which was a man that I will never forget (that's later on, on why) and the sweet Dr lady asks sir do you feel you got enough he says yes..he looks at in a microscope..she says are you sure. That kind of scares me but say I'm trusting you all. He says In his exact annoying dumb man voice ( can you tell I'm a little annoyed by him ) I believe I have gotten enough of this poor young girl don't you think Mrs Throneburg! I say I hope so. Well douchebag....YOU DIDN'T! I get a phone call two days later from my kidney Dr saying in an apologetic voice they didn't even get enough to semi test. He was supposed to check in the microscope and make sure before sending you back to recovery. I'm so sorry Genn but...you have to do it again. I cry he cries I yell and get mad he says he told them this next visit is on them. Unlike any normal person I don't heal fast so I can't just go get another biopsy I have to wait a month. A whole month to where my kidneys could keep failing or lupus spreads or anything. Oh I have a sour taste in my mouth for sure...

jug o' pee..why not

So its been almost three month since I found out about my illness so I have some making up to do on this blog :) To help understand what my life has gone through in such a small amount of time I will try and give the jist of how I am coping,my family is coping, and my every day life now. I hope this blog helps people understand more about what an auto immune disorder can do to people and to maybe give hope to the ones who do have this same or similar situation. Ok here I go.... So after we discovered that I have lupus after three test and that my thyroid was not in good condition either. I was then sent to a rheumotologist..Dr Arkin is my Dr. I go to him and they take my blood a lot of it..to be exact 6 freakin tubes of my precious blood. ( if you know me you know I hate shots, yeah yeah I have a lot of tattoos but needles going all the way in and don't get me started on the shaky handed nurses who take blood and miss) but they take a lot of blood, some pee,and make do joint exercises. Nothing major I made them laugh and tried to keep everyone happy. I feel that if I have to get poked and looked at all day why not make the people poking me happy and let them know I appreciate them by being a nice and happy patient. So they get results back and they pretty much match to my other test from my primary Dr. So next step is to get down to why I'm having kidney failure. Is it from the lupus or is it something else basically. The thyroid they gave me synthroid to take once every day. So I go back to Dr Arkin and he presents me with this huge orange jug..the size of a gallon of milk and tells me to pee in this for three days. Ok yes, I was laughing just like you probably are rt now. I said what! He says yes you need to only pee in this for three days and check this out...and keep in a fridge! Bahahaha I laugh thinking about it. Oh goodness..so I started on Friday afternoon and luckily I don't work Saturday or Sunday but Monday morning at work...you can only imagine! So basically I made myself eat and drink two glasses of water before I went to work funny part to this is work at 5 am! I peed before I left and said a prayer that I didn't have to pee til 1pm when I got off. Well....Haha I was fine until noon and realized I was holding it and that was just wrong in so many ways..first off I have kidney failure duh Genn secondly, they need this pee to figure out what's Wrong with me and lastly, well it was just dumb to. So I tell my boss he better not make fun of my jug o'pee or I'll beat him up! I go out to my car bc thankfully it is January and freezing outside so that was my "fridge" I go out get it and run to the bathroom and feel so much better. After work I take the jug o'pee and say to the nurses who wants a glass I got a jug :) they all laughed and said I was probably the most energetic person to come in there. We took more blood and they sent the urinalysis and blood work to get tested. That was step two of this "adventure" step three go to a kidney Dr. Thats where I met a laid back man named Dr Morris. He says with the urinalysis results it shows that my kidneys are only working at 23% he doesn't sugar coat it he doesnt hesitate he just tells me it is not what you are doing so don't think its the foods or what not. We will get this solved ( meaning all three drs working together..how amazing is that?!) He also says he has talked to he other drs and is fully aware that we want to do this meds free if possible. ( now how amazing is that?!!!!!) Note this..through out all this testing going to drs almost once or twice a wk for two months I have never cried..I was never scared so to say. I was a little eh feeling but never just like oh shit what's going to happen..until now. I cried in this man's arms. I asked so many questions and he answered them all honestly and realistically. That day is when it hit me that my life can be taken at any moment. Here's the scary part of my situation..moat ppl with kidney issues have either pains or blood in their pee or even swollen knees or ankles...me I have none of that I mean NOTHING! So with this being said, I could be gone at any moment. So now the next step is ultrasound to make sure there are two kidneys and they are good size and all also to check my ovaries. Then its to get X-ray on my chest then more blood taken more peeing more questions. Yeah, it got old real quick! After all that was done then it was the major step..that darn kidney biopsy!

reality..can suck sometimes

It makes me a little sad when I come to doctors and im the youngest person in the waiting room. To wrap my head around the fact that I have an illness that has symptoms that older ppl get..my thyroid,kidneys,arthritis...I'm in so much pain that it scares me to realize that this will be a frequent thing for me...being with the old crew.

first time i feel my heart stop..

So Dr Shiffman feels that we need to re test just in case and get other opinions before we go on to the next step of this Lupus mess.. I go to the Dr Jan 27th for more blood more pee testing. Jan 31 st...phone call at 4 pm from Dr Shiffman. "You are still positive for thyroid,kidney, and high protein...(long pause) you also are positive for lupus Mrs Throneburg..are you ok?" My first thought was ok and when do I go to doctor and what's next step. My heart though is stopping but beating outrageously fast I just nod and say ok ok thank u sir..I then hear Aiden in the hallway and tears start rolling down my face. My mind starts racing of I just lost my aunt to this disease I know there was a possibility of this but never imagined it thought it was just eating and anemic. I think I just want to see my baby grow old and see his kids have kids. I just want to always be his mommy to hold and go to. I want to grow old with chris..102& 104 yrs old rt?! I wipe my tears so Aiden doesn't see and I get off the phone with the Dr.. Im in a trance now..I'm so lost and confused but know I can fight this. I'm just disappointed that I have thyroid,kidney, and lupus! Why couldn't I just have a yeast infection Haha I laugh but I'm honest. Not a disease that you cannot treat ever! This is definitely the day my heart stopped...to think no more children frequent doctors visits tons of medicine tons of needles and blood drawn exhaustion scared to even get a cold to think it could harm me in the end. I just need keep m y faith :)

suck it up and go...

So I have been having major headaches,joint pains,fatigue,blurry vision,and just flat out not feeling good. Like any normal person we procrastinate on going to doctor bc A. We don't have insurance B. Scared to get results C. Thinks they can just sleep or nyquil it off :) well I have been saying I've been hurting or just tired for a while now but more since I had my son in 2010. I seriously felt my head hurt from either allergies,toothache,or work. I thought my joints hurt bc arthritis ran in my family or bc of my work. I thought I was always exhausted bc of work or my child Aiden. I thought my eyes hurt bc of my allergies, not wearing my glasses, staring at a computer screen, or yet again from work. I guess you can say I tried to ignore the signs my body kept sending me. My husband,Chris made me promise that in the new year I would go see a Dr to just get a check up since with insurance you get a free one for the year. Well, yet again I sorta pushed it out. But I felt like complete crap all the time. It wasn't until I quit my job making jewelry and got a simple cafe job and I actually had time to make an appt. Well, I was driving home one day and I blacked out..I count see I luckily didnt have Aiden with me but I only blacked out for a min or so which felt like forever. I was at a red light and ppl were honking. I saw a cop and he came to ask me what was wrong. I didn't know what was happening but all I know was at this point..everything was blurry as if I were going blind. Basically from that incident I made an appt with an amazing primary care Dr..Dr Shiffman immediately. My appt was Jan 25th 8am. I went in they took my vitals. In my head I thought am I diabetic,am I hypo-glycemic, or am I just not eating rt. I have been losing a lot of weight since birth of my son. Like every woman wishes I completely lost my baby weight plus some. I started out before pregnancy 120-125lbs on that drs visit I was 118lbs and sadly to say as of today I am 108lbs. I'm only 5'4 in height so I'm little as can be ( in my eyes) the wind could blow me down that's for sure. So the Dr says I'm definitely not diabetic but anemic which I knew. Told him lupus is in my family. He take more blood more pee and says he will get back to me in a week. Well it was the next day bc it was serious. He tells me..you have thyroid problems, you have anemia,you have some protein in your kidneys...wait for it...tells me to take a seat and deep breathe and bear with him..Genn my darling you are positive for Lupus..