Boobies,vagina...nooooooo!!!

Ok shit just got real...Haha Well I have been having horrible pain in my left breast. I mean to touch it by accident I felt like I was getting a titty twister. ( sorry I'm a little vulgar but hey it's life) all around sore, there are two lumps, the shoulder blade hurts, the middle of my chest hurts,my heart hurts..I go to my Gyno and she says since I have so many health issues I need to get a mammogram. Well I go and thank God it's no cancer bc cancer doesn't usually hurt but they give me an ultrasound and there is a type of infection in my breast basically from the medicine and there is major inflammation..hence the excruciating pain in my muscles and chest. Oh and going to a breast center Is pretty depressing in itself. I mean everyone in pink,everyone sad, everyone's twiddling their thumbs waiting on results..stressful and I commend any woman and family going through that situation.. Oh and while at Gyno we talked about dadaada..children! Ugh I hate that topic. I'm over it I've researched and weighed out all my options and I'm over it! We talked about freezing eggs ( soooo expensive) we talked about surrogate,we talked about me carrying and why I really shouldn't, we talked about adoption, we talked about it all..blah! Then she checked me and noticed yet again that same damn thing I have been hearing at every dr...INFLAMATION! Ok this is where i am about to get personal, deep, real..whatever you want to call it but like I said this is my life and it's reality of the beast I live with. To let you all inside of my life for a moment to understand the effects these illnesses have on people is only a teaser. You don't feel what I feel or go through the changes like I am you are just reading it and imagining it. Basically with kidney failure and auto immune diseases you get infections constantly..I get them In my mouth from sjogrens,my breast,my vagina,my eyes,my face, and my organs. For a WOMAN to get it in her private area and to feel uncomfortable down there due to her body attacking itself not from her mistakes SUCKS ASS! Sex..not the same..I don't produce moisture due to sjogrens. See sjogrens is a bitch in so many ways and I find it funny no one knows much about it! I get nose bleeds,my eyes dry up to where I have cracks in the lenses why I'm partially going blind, I have dry mouth,sore throats,cracked crack head lips,and dry itchy skin constantly. ( and that's just the sjogrens!) so I can't have kids, sex isn't the same, I have horrible eyes,dry itchy skin,losing hair,horrible kidneys,infected breast,inflamed entire body, cant eat or drink anything,and get fatigue whenever the lupus feels to act up...but guess what Im beyond thankful I can write this and tell you all my life story! There is the positive in this. The positive out of this is I have a child already a healthy nutty one, I have an amazing amazing husband who is supportive and understands that sex is not everything, I have family and friends who support me on my good and bad days, I have my breast still, I have hair still and it's a funky new one, I have eye sight, I have God...see I still HAVE so much even though these little things that people think are so important and they need need need..well some can't have or never had. I'm so grateful for this life lesson God had given me...opens my eyes more every day well my one good eye haha..come on laugh people and go enjoy some great sex with your partner for me! ;) don't take life so seriously is what I'm getting at!