Let's play catch up..one on one;)

Ok a lot has happened since June which was my last post. It is now sadly December and I am just now writing. Let's see June we left off with me not being able to have kids. I was hurt,confused,disgusted by others pregnancy,etc...now I'm at a better place with that. I enjoy having one and at the bad moments I thank God for my one child bc in reality I cannot handle more than what I have (He sure knows what we can handle!)ok July comes around I am still sick and Chris decides to take me on a surprise trip alone to six flags. I love love rides but man was this the ultimate test for my pain,fatigue,and tolerance to the heat and sun. I had fun and enjoyed the alone time we got to share but did get really annoyed and fatigue faster than ever before. But I pushed through and enjoyed every bit of it. He really spoiled me ;) It was an amazing get away from reality..just what we both needed. well I am feeling fatigue more.. noticed that I am just not myself. When you know your body you just know something is up. At this point with the drs my rheumatologist basically ignored me and doesn't really do much besides tests and more tests.( which equals more money and more money) But no medicine, no feedback..so makes me believe I am not that sick with lupus or sjogrens but why do i feel like pure shit and they say i am sick? So august comes around and work is getting difficult for me. We cut my hrs..I mean I was working 5 days to 3 to 2 day down to 2 measily hrs every other day. I would pass out, feel drained, feel like pure crap that I knew I was just hurting myself more. We filed for disability and just waiting for that whole process to go through. Which I hear is A horrible,long,drawn out task but I'm hopeful and hey I tons of proof that what I have is no joke. So now we are in September and October...I'm really fatigue but push through. I def feel my body take an over haul. I feel completely different than ever before but just thought its my kidneys or I'm overwhelmed. I am a full time stay at home mom and I got qualified for disability within in three months they said I would wait ( God is amazing if you believe and stay faithful) I changed my whole diet completely. My goal was to get my kidneys stabled. I know I have Chronic kidney failure and there is no cure for it and we can not reverse it. Duh?! But I do know I can at least savior what I do have. I already don't eat salt/ sodium or caffeine. I usually have caffeine every now and then well completely cut it out this time. Noticed I was sweating a lot and getting exhausted after a sip of a iced coffee latte. I also cut out my all time favorite dill pickle chips :( that was torture but man was it torture on my body! I would eat two darn chips and with a 2 glasses of water (to justify..don't judge me haha) and I would sweat,bloat up horribly,headaches,nausea,fatigue..the whole shabang! I felt like death for the next day over a small handful of chips! So while you enjoy your chips and drink of choice I will sit here drinking my water like its a large sweet tea from mcd's with a smile on my face and my carrots and ranch dip haha. I also cut out red meats and cut down on my meat intake. I eat only turkey,chicken,and seafood and TONS of veggies! I make soups a lot with salads. I cook for Chris and Aiden normally just no red meats unless it's pot roast their favorite and I just eat the veggies. I cut down on potatoes, I don't eat fried anything, and I don't west sweets unless it's my Swiss roll cakes! I only drink milk with medicine and cut down on dairy. A lot of these foods cause inflammation so to eliminate these as much as i possibly can helps so much and lessens the medicine intake..what I'm shooting for! So basically my diet SUCKS for a cook and baker! I miss cooking and baking whatever now it's is this healthy for me and I can't add salt or overload in seasons. Everything has salt in it! I now homemake everything! I'm starting on gluten free breads, I make my own salt free pickles, my own sauces,soups,dressings,aidens snacks, and soon my own chips..SACRIFICES! I also did my first charity eventin September for national Chronic awareness month ( next blog more details) So, I started noticing pains in other areas and go to the drs for all that ( next blog) and realize that I'm not letting this take over my whole body..I for a moment stopped going to my drs bc really going to the drs every 2 wks sucks butt and it was really depressing me. So now I was like ok by the new year I want to be healthy and happy! So I go make all my appointment my kidneys are horrible the creatinine levels are ridiculous and they are talking about diyalisis sooner than the possible 2-3 yrs. scared shitless eh?! So they put me on a lot of prednisone and get blood work constantly to see where I'm at my best in meds. Well the meds seemed to work some magic along with the numerous prayers I receive daily..my kidneys kick back down to a 1.8 from a 2.8 hey they still suck but for me and being they are CHRONIC I'm happy with that number. I did something I changed that number! Defeated not! So then I decided I'm gonna try a second opinion on lupus and sjogrens..so glad I did and i got an appointment the following wk which is rare especially for this dr! I was like God you really do got me! So I go to this dr the wait was long but they knew exactly what I had by looking at me and then did some test and showed and EXPLAINED I was crucially crucially sicker than I thought to believe! Yet again scared shitless! I was in shock. I knew yeah I have lupus symptoms and blah blah but showing me the results of X-rays,MRI's, and my blood levels and explaining each one! Basically my whole entire body head,eyes,all the way to my pinky toe is inflamed! The lupus level numbers are supposed to be BELOW 20% for an average lupus patient mine....wait for it..a freaking 90! that's why I hurt and pass out and what not! Next I go to my eye dr and dentis for sjogrens and they show I'm really sick and it's also taking a toll on my health with the eyes and mouth slso explains the constant nose bleeds I always have..I have no more moisture in these areas! I don't freaking cry anymore!!! Im almost like a little kid who is fake crying no tears what so ever! Guess..no need to cry is the story behind that one ;) ok I think I caught up enough..we are December now but I will write in other blogs about the new life of mine! So much has happened in 3 months! I hope this caught everyone up enough from June! Goodness I'm a slacker haha my apologies! This is very therapeutic for me so I do not need to stop especially if helps you all see what life is like inside a 28yr old warrior or for ones who suffer like me to know there are others in this "beautifully broken" world of ours..xo