Losing my marbles,nose bleeds,and the shakes!

Today December 14th I woke up happy and feeling great! I put on a cute outfit and felt good about myself. The weather was going to be sunny 60s and nice..I woke up early to take meds and eat a great breakfast. Aiden woke up to tell me bye and feel better. Even said I looked pretty! I went to gas station and they had my favorite v8 fusion pomegranate berry drink back. I was golden! I head to treatment and get an amazing phone call from a friend saying she is going to start going to my dr too for her fybro..she said I encourage her and uplift her..made my morning even better to know I helped someone! I go in and it's a quiet morning not busy at all..I like! We do the usual how are ya and what's the pain tolerance today..my only complaint is heart papaltations and horrible rt hand shakes! It's getting worse! My hand even turns red and blue. My left hand shakes but not as bad it's annoying! Me typing is annoying! Then we get the treatment going she does my left arm instead of the rt this time somi don't bruise below and when she inserts the I've in ( this is gross) but it felt like my heart popped! It was weird like heartburn but strange. I turn on my Marvin Gaye,close my eyes, and go to my happy place (aidens smile) my heart calms down and the burning of the meds take place. I start itching and I start with the metal mouth again...thank goodness for my v8 drink! 30min come on let's get this over it! I start feeling tired..I ask is it going to rain bc my head and body hurt more than usual..yes actually it is ;( I sit for a moment after the infusion and just try to catch myself. I feel weak. I go home and to a happy home..aiden and bo running around Chris relaxing before work..my bubby's ;) all is well! I get lil man dressed so we can go have lunch with his aunt gg and I still feel weak but ok.maybe just hungry. I get her we enjoy soup and salad and time with aiden. I end up seeing an old friend turner and he says how great I look ;) good day still..so far. Then I go run errands for Chris and realize I'm getting loopy. I have my phone on me and I drive to his job and some how i lose my phone in my truck within 5min! After that all I know is I flared up, got bitchy, and didn't know where I was besides in a parking lot with aiden and Chris.. My mission was I lost my phone the rest I was lost! Completely confused, annoyed,lost,frustrated, and just hurting! My eyes swelled,my body hurt, my mind hurt, my marbles were lost! Chris felt useless bc I was heated and having a flare. Man, when I have a flare back the f off! I'm not myself! I'm a monster,a beast,a quick tempered annoyed bitch! I'm abrupt,rude,and fiesty. So he gives me his phone I case of an emergency I head home and go straight to sleep. Well...wait. Driving home i did something horrible which I have only done two times now...I yelled so hard at aiden and cussed him out! Yes I said I was a monster! I then pulled over prayed and collected what little mind I had and said I was sorry to him and that mommy is hurting and sick rt now and that I need him more than ever to just listen and be quiet. Well Gid gave me a miracle baby for sure...for a 2yr old he said sorry mommy your body hurts, I luh you, and ainen be good..I have to potty! Haha I said ok lets go home bud! Made home and he kissed me listened and went to take a nap with me and Bo! I woke up heart racing and a major nose bleed. Have I not had enough today?! I go clean the car out and what do you know the damn phone is in my door pocket thing! Ay yi yi gennifer! Ok so then I have to laugh bc today was a blurr! From 1-7pm I was in a blurr..oh wait the day isn't over! Sis and mom come over to take me to dinner and spend time with me..I eat aiden eats and behaves but I just feel horrible still. Cold,hot,achey,sore throat,eyes hurt,body hurts...come home starts raining explains the arthritis pains..let bo out, turn on shower,lock up the house,turn on batman for aiden,turn on pandora gospel station and zone out in a hot hot hot shower! My whole entire waist below is swollen! Thighs,knees,ankles,feet, and toes! My eyes are swollen,my face is puffy, my throat is swollen and sore! My hands are shaking my nose bleeds yet again and then there is aiden putting Vaseline all over his face and Bo's face! I ignore and just relax! Now I'm watching teen titans with them and about to take last of meds for the day and hit the sack! A long day indeed is finally over! Maybe a little pimterest will ease my mind...Tom is a new, glorious, and fulfilling day :) I think I will bake cookies and listen to some prince in the am ;) xo