his touch awakens my soul

When Aiden holds my hand every night before bed or rubs my cheeks and gives me nose kisses every morning and night or when I'm sick it awakens my soul and fills my heart with joy. He is the most amazing and special child imaginable to go through this situation. He handles it all very well and at much ease and confidence that it gives me confidence to push through. I thank you God for BLESSING me with him when you did and how you did. He's my miracle baby and forever will be! he may be my only child but man is he one AMAZING one! ;) Basically I woke up this am with him in bed with us at 7 am like usual and he always does the same routine rubs Chris arm then snuggles close to me rubs my cheeks gives nose kisses smiles and says hey ma..then turns over and grabs my hand to hold..then he falls back asleep and I wake up 30min later and him an hr later. It's one of our many bonding moments I love! But I also get sad to think what if he gets so used to this and he is a mommas boy he calls me his best friend ;) but what if..I have to leave this earth sooner than my original plan of 102 and I leave when I'm say 50? Not saying Aiden will be holding my hand still Haha hey who knows but I know as time goes on we will make new bonding moments..to see or know a child to have to go through losing a parent scares me.. I pray I am there to see him have a family of his own. To see all the amazing things I taught him flourish ;) I have to think of these things bc its reality its life..everyone dies! I can walk out my house rt now and die and it have nothing to do with my diseases..but its just that these diseases I have are scary no telling what can happen at any given moment. Kidney failure,heart failure,and crazy lupus you just never know! That is why I try to prepare my family and myself for whatever. I always say my thank you to God and to everyone. I say my I love you's and count my blessings along with enjoying every single moment. Im patient out in public teach Aiden to say hello and thank you everyone we see and to have a great day! Little things that make others smile will make us smile ;) I just want Aiden to always know how to respect others no matter how rude they can be. Our unconditional love to our ourselves,God,and others makes the soul warm and at peace! Now that's what Aiden brings me daily!