babies are coming& im getting tied up

The wk I am getting my consultation on getting my tubes tied is the rt around the time 3ppl I know will be giving birth to some beautiful happy healthy babies! It's a bittersweet feeling for sure. I have already cried and prayed over this situation and know things happen for reason. If we would have gotten pregnant in June like I wanted I probably would have either lost the baby or I would be extremely at high risk pregnancy and with a lot of complications where the baby would be preemie or not make it. I think back on how bad I got this past year and ending up in the er twice with high blood pressure and heart disease. I am on so much medicine and also infusions and constantly getting weaker by the days. I could not possibly be pregnant! I could not possibly be pregnant and take care of myself or a 2 1/2yr old?!! God, this Is when I thank you over and over bc months ago I was angry I was "defeated" I was broken to pieces I was torn I felt nothing bc I felt why me out of alot of ppl why can't I have kids why can't I have one more of my own why me why so many like me don't get the chance either?! But I prayed for understanding over and over and patience with it. To give me peace of mind..its not until now Lord that I can say I am at peace with it. I may cry about the situation all together but I understand..I physically,emotionally,mentally,and financially can't do it and getting my tubes tied will save me and chris from any "mistake"and "heartache" we are grateful and beyond blessed with an amazing son the son I always wanted! Thank you God thank you times a million for allowing me to be patient enough and wise enough to note greedy,bitter anymore,and grateful for what I do have. It's hard being a woman and being told your body just can't accomplish what it is made for. It's like I did something wrong but I didn't I did what I wanted I had a healthy happy baby naturally and safely. It's just that I only got blessed once while some of us get the amazing opportunity to give more loving to multiple ;)