if you could be a fly on the wall at my job...

Ok so here I will explain how I work and how difficult and amusing it is sometimes. Yes I said amusing bc I make myself laugh quite a bit lately. So I work at a cafe and I open the place by myself. I get there at 5am and do some baking and setting up the shop. When I drive to work I can't really steer well bc my hands are locked up. They are just stuck in a position and won't get out. I usually shake my hands or rub them but honestly that hurts also. I make it to work I get in and I have to cook off bacon first. Well the darn bacon package is probably the most difficult take I have all day! Im laughing thinking about it. Bc I have been trying to defeat this problem. Thinking maybe of i just cut the bag..but hey I can barely hold scissors or a knife rt now. Or maybe I can have the closers open it and put it away..then I think that's just not sanitary. Then I think screw it Genn grin and bear it and open the Damn thing already. It takes me probably 5min to do this task this simple easy task that they even made an "easier open" sign on the package. I'm very competitive and man does that feel like a slap in the face. Then I have to bake and just carrying simple things is almost is as if I had buttered my hands before coming to work..its just hard when your hands ache and your elbows burn from pain. Then here's the fun part..the shift begins and usually I always get one flare. Oh when I get a flare its almost like who let queen Bitch in the building. Oh wait thats just Genn having a flare ;) I get very quiet I mean no talking just nodding and one word answers. At this point though my coworkers just know and step back but step in to help me as much as possible and and usually go in the back to wind down. Bc with the quietness I also get the blurry eyes where I can't really see then the loss of concentration. So that sucks when I'm trying to rush out a breakfast or a lunch and I'm basically dazed and confused. When I have a flare it makes me like I'm high. I don't know if any of you have ever been on a drug ;) but let me break it down to how it makes me personally feel..my eyes start hurting my heart starts racing my body gets jittery as if I just took a drug ( enter your choice of drug here..) then I feel tingling all in me and just out of body experience. My mind is saying ugh get me off this and get it out of my system but my body is saying Haha enjoy it bc I am.. then I get fatigue and thats where the feeling of. " coming down " off the drug hits..I feel loopy and drained. Crazy huh?! I just probably took some on a trippy ride but that's how i feel..out of body and can't control it. But I trying to be a strong woman I try my best to fight through the pain and just work to get it done. But I have found that working makes me forget and stay too busy to realize I hurt or that I'm exhausted. So work..work is good!!